"You know that feeling in the pit of your stomach that stays with you, then tears you apart slowly at first, and all at once shreds every fiber of your being?
It's because your contradicting the universe.
Everything lines up so perfectly that you could't have imagined it to work out any better, but then you have to go and do everything humanly possible to ruin it because you can't stand to have it go right?
That's what I did.
I did it because there's a darkness that surrounds me, and I think I want it there.
My name is Tate McKenna, and my soul is blacker than my heart.
I honestly was going to give this book 4 stars because I thought that there had to be something wrong with it. Then I realized that whatever occurred in the book was right for the story.
I think that in order to enjoy this book you had to be able to relate to the characters in some way, or you had to be able to find the stories deeper meanings. I was able to relate to Tate. I actually realized that there was a part of me that is Tate and that I have a Jesse. (If you have read Volition and understand who Jesse really was then you get why someone could have a "Jesse") Volition made me reflect on my own life, it made me think.
The tagline for this book is "My soul is blacker than my heart" which was the first thing that stood out to me. It made the book sound unique and I could tell right away this wasn't going to be a horrible, cheesy contemporary.
The chapters would go: Now, then, now, then, etc. which was annoying in the beginning because all I wanted to do was read the story that took place in present day. As the story progressed I got more into Tate's character and was more interested in what happened in her past.
As far as my feelings on Tate's past, I didn't feel sorry for her at all while reading because there was nothing to feel sorry about. She chose the path that she chose and it all worked out because that's what her fate was. I did think that some of her actions were interesting, though.
I didn't hate Jesse which sounds extremely odd, but I didn't like him either. I felt like he was just a piece of the puzzle that was there because he needed to be there or else there could have been no story. I didn't feel sorry for him because he chose his path and he made his decisions.
I really, really liked Hayden. He was a good match for Tate because he had a darkness to himself. He was able to make her happy which is what really matters. Tate deserves a piece of happiness in her life.
Back to Tate herself......
I don't do drugs, drink, or go out to crazy parties like Tate but there were little things that made her relatable. Such as:
- Trying to kill a cockroach because it's in the same room as her.
- Listening to Florence + The Machine
- Wanting to feel loved
On the other hand, if your that type of person that has a darkness about themselves or that enjoys reading books that make you self-reflect then PICK VOLITION UP RIGHT NOW!!!!!
Quotes I wrote down while reading:
"Maybe I would. Maybe I'd buy a thousand copies, tear all the pages out, and smother myself in them. Then, someone could Mod Podge her words in my casket, too"
"Imagine what these rings have seen," Jesse said, his voice cutting through the silence. "Something happened, people happened, people died. And this tree saw it all--until it didn't."
"Pockets full of stones"
"Maybe the evil ran in our blood, and mine was just closer to the surface."
"I love that nature reclaims all in the end. Men made this building, but she'll take it back. It's a reminder that everything is temporary. We're so very, very temporary in the grand scheme of things."
I highly suggest listening to the playlist provided in the back of the book while reading.
It includes artists such as:
- Florence + The Machine
- One Republic
- The Foxes
- Panic! At the Disco
- Lana Del Ray